Shauna Cesar

If you aren’t as lucky as me to have the time to focus on writing when ever you want it can be hard to see progress or even get the drive to write a paragraph. So the question is: How do you fit writing in to a busy, full life and schedule?

The easiest answer I have been given to this question is to just start writing. It sounds easy and for some it can be. For someone like me it felt for the longest time like a stupid answer that avoided the question. I was looking for a step by step guide to how to fit writing into my already packed day. Someone to tell me to do A, B, and C to make time or 1,2, and 3 to gain extra momentum or ideas.

Surprising to myself I started looking at all the times in my day that even though I was busy I was mind of just sitting around. Waiting for a bus or appointment, waiting for dinner to finish or the timer to beep. These are just a few examples of my “free writing” time and I have taken these times to “just write”.

The real secret to finding time to write is making time to write and making writing a priority. I have even written this weeks post by making time; in the middle of my office move, sitting in the truck writing this.

With my pencil and notebook always close my priority of writing will be easier and my deadline (even if they are self-imposed) will be met.

I’ve made a commitment to myself and my eventual readers to post on my blog at least once a week and the last two weeks I have really struggled to find something to write about. I believe this may have a lot to do with doubt. I have been feeling a lot of doubt about spending so much time writing in a time that the economy is going from recession to depression.

I wonder if I’m good enough to sell books and then I start doubting my own talent. I wonder if I’m being selfish following my dreams when I could be working somewhere else and earning that little bit of extra money for my family. Doubt seems to be very good a ruining wonderful things.

I know deep down I love writing and I know that the few people I have shown my writing have had a lot of good things to say about it. I know that with how much I love writing and during the times that I am not doubting writing flows out of me so wonderful and easy. But when I doubt I have a hard time writing anything and then another good thing ruined by doubt.

I haven’t found a way to get rid of my doubt but I have made a few decisions to help counteract it. I will do my best to keep my writing stuff closer so I can get to it when the doubt is away. I will get twice as much writing done during the doubtless times and I will try to remember that even the greatest of us has moments of doubt.

I can’t recall the first time I heard someone tell me if I wanted to be a writer I needed to treat it like a job but through out the years I’ve heard it again and again and never paid it much attention. Many years of wishing I had more time to write, wishing that life wasn’t so busy or stressful so I could just sit and relax and write until my heart was content. Most of my adult life I’ve spent wishing instead of writing.

That’s many years avoiding my dreams. Facing your dreams is hard and I found that little piece of advice has helped me get over the initial hurdles. Treating writing like a job will look different for each person but for me it was fairly simple, I equipped myself with the required things and time to write full time.

Actual physical items I needed to write were simple to come by as everything I write be it a blog post, and email, poetry, or my novel get written in pencil on paper first. So I stocked up on pencils and notebooks, simple. To be honest not just any pencils and notebooks, like most creative types I am a little quirky and only use a certain type of mechanical pencil (Paper Mate Clearpoint Elite) so I bought one in every color. While I’m exposing my quirks I will add that I am also picky about my notebook and paper but that is a whole other post.

On top of pencil and paper the only other thing needed is a word processing program on a computer of some sort. I am no expert at computers and computer programs so for the last six months I have been playing around with organizing my writing in a couple different programs. I plan on posting a personal review of each at a later date. Physically equipped to wite the only other things to do is treat it like a job.

Treating writing like your job is hard, you need to make the time and prioritize it as if you are getting paid (which hopefully one day you will be) without a boss to watch over you  and make sure it gets done. You need to hold yourself accountable for getting it done. Have a certain amount of time every day where you write no matter what. I have struggled with this the most over the last six months. I tried setting deadlines for myself and fell into guilt when they passed by with out results. Personally I have found that telling everyone who asks what I do that I am a writer has helped. When strangers are asking when your book will be finished it helps push my writing forward as there are more and more people waiting that I don’t want to disappoint.

I started developing the idea for my novel four years ago and in 3 1/2 years I wrote two chapters. Treating writing as my job had helped me accomplish a full outline, character development, and a written first draft that is 3/4 done with a sequel planned.

I am a writer, that is my job, and as long as I treat it like my job I know I will have a long future in writing.

As I get things ready and try to figure out the best ways to get my two new books to the masses (or at least beyond my family) I am coming across a lot of people and organizations that are offering to help but at a cost. I understand that no organization can do everything for free but I am struck with the feeling that I would be buying my readership instead of earning it.

So the question I find myself debating recently is; is it better to struggle on my own to get readership or “pay entry”? And secondly how do I know if it’s a legitimate respected contest or a cash grab and here’s a sticker for your book?

I would love to enter a contest if even just to say I stepped out of my comfort zone and volunteered myself for scrutiny but I am fearful of falling into the over eager trap of being taken advantage of. I know that this free package of XYZ stuff to help you become a huge success but hurry now because we only have 50 but have already sold 40 so pay our super high shipping for your free item is a scam. I’m sure I get at least three of these emails a day and I can say once I almost fell for it bur as for these contests I’ve rarely come across them.

I have been tempted to enter one just to see what happens but for $100 and up that is quite the what-if. But what the hell right? So I entered one I found with Better Business Bureau accreditation. I entered the contest but the book review was free and set up to not be a forced review. The reviewer gets to select which books they want to review. This means, as I was informed, it could take months to get reviewed.

So I sat back and settled in for a long wait for my first ever book review. Much to my surprise I received my review within a week. I will admit I was more than nervous when I got the email notification and when I finally read the review I cried. I received a very open and honest review and someone other than friends and family  like my writing. That gives me more drive to keep going.

As I embark on my journey to achieve my life long dream of being a professional writer I find the hardest part is getting over the fear of rejection. In my case the numbing crippling fear of rejection.

Going back to my teenage years I wrote almost every day. I was struggling with the onset of a mental disorder and used writing as an outlet. I would collect my poems and put them in folders to give as presents to my family. It seems they were exempt from my fear of rejection.

That was close to fifteen years ago and until the last few weeks it was the closest to published or having a readership. All because the thought of having someone not like my writing made my heart thump, breathing hard, and my brain refuses to work. Now I still have the same reaction but my desire to give my children the confidence to follow their dreams and the ability to believe in themselves is stronger than my fear.

So I gathered all those poems and wrote a book. Not a folder full of pages book but a self-published hard cover book. I received my proof last week and not only was I excited and proud to see my name and writing in print but that familiar panic bubbled up from deep inside.

It took me five days to get the nerve to approve my proof for public distribution. Now in a few weeks anyone on Amazon can purchase my book … anyone! So for my case it seems the best way to get past my fear of rejection was to jump on in. I still have my fear but there is no use to be crippled b it when that is doing me and my future no good.

I will still have moments when thinking about it will paralyze me but I  know eventually it will pass since not everyone will like my writing but on the other side someone will like it.